It's all about the earplugs

At various times in my life, I have been a caregiver for other peoples' children. I've learned a lot and had a lot of fun, but the most important thing I've learned is how to be mean.

Let's face it, children cry. They cry about lots of things - bumped knees, teasing on the playground, brushing their teeth. As adults, it's our job to figure out why they are crying and what needs to be done about it. That's the easy part.

The hard part is when they cry because they don't want to do something we know they really need to do, or because we won't let them do something that we know is a bad thing. For those moments, you need earplugs, and the guts to be mean. (There is nothing so terrible to one's ego than being called mean by a child. I'm serious - I've had terrible relationship breakups that were less painful.)

You cannot make a child stop crying. You can distract them, cuddle them, soothe them, make it stop hurting, make it stop being scary - but ultimately, you cannot make them stop crying. So stick in those earplugs and move along with whatever it is they have to do.

I'm lucky with Gaz. She doesn't have that particular pitch of jet plane howl that would force me to break out the earplugs. I can just set the TV to closed captioning and ignore it, or strap her into the bouncy chair and leave the room for a few minutes if I really need a break. She's a happy baby and really doesn't cry that often or for that long.

But right now she DOES NOT WANT THE BOTTLE. In any form - bottle, sippy cup, or other milk-giving mechanism. Nope, nuh-uh, not gonna have it. So she cries, because she's a baby and that's really the only way she can express her annoyance.

I sympathise, really I do. Her little gums hurt, and anything not as soft as Mom's breast hurts them more. Her little teeth hurt my fingers, so I'm trying to convince her that we don't really need to break out the supplemental feeder and attach it to my finger. But I'm the adult, and I know that she needs to eat even when Mom's not around to nurse.

So yesterday we spent most of the day crying and rocking. Me, rocking and holding a bottle or sippy cup in her mouth, and her crying and resisting it. There were many breaks for cuddling and soothing and naps and playing, but still. It was rough. I hate to cause her so much distress.

We did discover that the gum pain is not so bad as to wake her if she sucks in her sleep, so the most successful feeding was accomplished while she slept. This is very good, if hard on my arms. Holding a bottle in perfect feeding position for an hour and a half may well qualify as torture under the Geneva Conventions. I think I'll work on making a bottle suspender system to take the weight off.

Grandma and Grampa, thank you so much for helping out while I went on vacation! We had a perfectly wonderful time visiting with my family and friends, and I'm so glad we got to take one last vacation before Stormy heads for the wilds of Seattle. Gaz sends you cuddles and smiles!